Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?

When I made the decision to stop working and stay home and raise my daughter, it wasn't one I took lightly. I gave up a really good job, any shred of monetary Independence I had, and any chance of advancement. Clearly the rewards of staying home with her have been tremendously better than going back to work, but I still miss it.

I found out I was pregnant in April of 2007. 2 weeks before I took that pregnancy test and had a Doctor appointment, I was accepted into college. I was going to start over. Salons and hair be damned, I had a whole new plan. One that never came to be, though. I couldn't go to school, work full time, and have a baby. I give a ton of credit to the ones who can pull that off, but I am not one of them.

I gave up a lot for Alexa before she was even born. I'm not by any means complaining at all. After everything we went through to have her born healthy and alive, I'd do it all again just to have the same end results.

Which leads me to what is the best thing going for me right now? I honestly don't know. I've got a happy, healthy 3 year old. They told me she'd never make it out alive, so that says something. She's overcome odds like you can't imagine. From one bad diagnosis to another, from one physical delay to another mental delay. 2 years of therapy and specialists evaluating her. And yet here we are and she's perfectly fine. I've given a lot of thought lately to attempting to go back to school. I could easily take classes that work around Scott's schedule and around Lexi's. I don't know that I want the same thing I wanted in 2007 though. I *think* I know what I want to do, but who the hell is ever really satisfied with what they decided to be when they grew up?

I'm happy. I'm healthy. I'm working towards a goal of losing weight, finally. And it's working! I'm working out daily. I have a guy who loves me no matter how many millions of mistakes and fuck up's I'm capable of. I've got both my parents, who are happy and healthy. I've got my sister. After everything she's been through in the past 2 years I can't tell you how greatful I am to see her happy. I finally have the brother I always wanted, with all thanks to my sister finally getting married. Maybe I didn't take the road that I had initially planned, and maybe what I have isn't a lot or noteworthy to anyone else, but to me, I have the best damn life imaginable and I have a lot going for me.