But Why?

This past week, the father of one of my Uncles' passed away. He left behind a wife, 2 children, 4 step children, and 10 grandchildren. 2 of which are my cousins, both boys. They are 13 and 9 years old, and have never experianced loss like this before. The manner in which he passed was terrible and tragic. I won't go into details as to respect the privacy of my family, but suffice it to say that it was very unexpected. It was also fairly painless for him, and he went very quickly.

Today was the wake/funeral services. One of the first things I saw upon pulling up to the funeral home and walking up to the door was a little boy sitting outside crying. Nothing will break your heart more than to see a 7 or 8 year old boy trying desperately to grasp why his Grandpa isn't here and won't be coming home again. I used to think that children didn't quite understand and that wakes and funerals didn't have an impact on them in the same manner that it affects adults. I was proven wrong today, repeatedly. I felt terrible for those poor babies not understanding. I felt terrible for the parents who couldn't quite explain it to them. I saw many many people cry today. I haven't ever seen my cousins cry like THAT though. To see a 13 year old boy walk out of the building after saying goodbye to his grandfather for the last time, and come right over to us - the rest of my family had already exited the building - and just be so willing to lean on your shoulder and let you hug him. He's never like that. My heart broke for him.

Tonight, I came home and told Alexa just how much I love her. The sudden loss of someone near your family really makes you take a step back and reevaluate just how important and special your own family is to you. I wouldn't know how to pick up the pieces and just carry on if it were me in their position right now. I know that I am not anywhere near ready to lose anyone that close to me. I think its time that I started showing my family and friends just how special they are to me, you only get so much time to do so, and I think we all need to take that into consideration and stop worrying over the stupid shit and focus on what we have.